At 22:41:20 on 10.10.11, xXSuperSonicGinaXx wrote:
Ok so recently I started thinking about where my riding was going, what I have been doing and what I wanted to do. Finally it came to me that I'm really not that great. Considering I've been riding for 3 years and I've only managed to jump 2ft 6 as my highest I don't think I'm doing to well. I've been looking for something so sort out my nerves, I've heard also about bach remedy stuff but I just dont have the money to spend plus my mother is rather skeptical. I would love to be able to jump fearlessly and do crosscountry and all sorts of things but I'm terrified of everything. The real problem is that my confidence gets knocked so easily. Falls shake me up really bad and I struggle to regain the confidence I once had. Sitting here just writing and thinking about it I'm in tears, I feel so pathetic and everyonhe I talk to just tells me I need to suck it up and get over it. I know they're right but sometimes I get to the point where I just want to give up riding all together. Right now I have a horse on loan and he's absoloutly wonderful but I can;t jump him because he's an ex hurdler i.e. he bolts into jumps and either catleaps or overjumps massively. I know generally this all sounds so pathetic and some of you are probably thinking that I'm an idiot for posting this but I've spent so long not saying anything and having to deal with people telling me that I'm crap and that I just need to get over it.

At 23:40:29 on 10.10.11, Maria100 wrote:
Take a few deep breaths & calm down is my first bit of advice :-) To me you sound like you are being really hard on yourself. 3 years riding is really not that long overall. I've been riding for about 20 years & I often have problems with my nerves. There have been times I've haven't even wanted to get on my horse because of confidence issues. It can be frustrating when you are passionate about horse riding & your body/ brain would keep up with your desire to progress. You need to stop listening to negative comments from others, you are doing this because you want to so set yourself achievable goals & give yourself a chance to succeed. Nobody goes straight out to tackle x county & big show jumps. You need to start at the beginning & work your way up & if you have a fall along the way & need to go back a step or two to get your confidence back then do. It’s all very well people telling you to get on with it but you need to feel in control of the situations you put yourself in. Take your time & plan out what you want to achieve & take as many baby steps as you need to get there. If you trust your loan horse & enjoy riding him, get up as many riding hours as you can having fun. You could lunge him in trot over a few small jumps to help re school him & then try a few small jumps in trot while riding. He’ll soon get the idea of what you want. I have used the rescue remedy many time & it only cost a few euro / pounds & if well worth giving a good. Try to remember that horse riding can be as much about the journey as the final destination of how high you jump. Believe me, if you stay enjoying your riding within your conform zone& get those riding hours up you’ll be well on your way to achieving your riding goals step by step – good luck & enjoy it !!!

At 11:19:54 on 11.10.11, Dazzle wrote:
Woah SuperSonicGina, when I read your posting I thought there is someone who has lost the fun of riding, not sure why you are being so tough on yourself. I know there will be members on this site who could never jump 2'6, me included, I'd have to have a bath in Rescue Remedy not a couple of drops on my tongue. I don't enjoy jumping at all does this make me a lesser rider? No. Time to take stock, stop trying to measure yourself against other people, it never works. The fact that you have had bad falls and yet you are still riding shows that you have courage. So many people give up after one fall. Does it matter that you are not going to make the Olympic Team next year, nahhh does it matter that you enjoy your horse and riding, yes tremendously. Give yourself a holiday from the stress and the jumping, like Maria suggests get out the lunge line, start to walk over poles. There is a great exercise in virtual jumping that I know, if you are interested. Let us know how you get on because we would like to help.

At 22:56:10 on 11.10.11, NMH wrote:
I think getting/staying confident jumping can be REALLY hard, & depends A LOT on the horse. Agree ++ with the above postings & delightful as your loan horse may be, to get confidence over jumps you above all want something that is CONSISTENT & 'feels safe'! neither of these it sounds as tho' your loan horse does for you! No fault of yours! He's an ex-hurdler! Stick to poles on the ground (exercises making a 'course' of these help hugely with jumping skills without leaving the ground, & will calm the horse around poles too) or courses of truly weeny ones, & beg or borrow rides on a real jumping schoolmaster- the Pony club steady type, to keep practising 2'6" courses if you can. Then you can progress if/when you feel like it BUT you can also respect yourself as a rider without leaving the ground at all! You do it for fun right? You don't have to face demons if jumping continues to make you feel nervous. good luck & keep posting, lots of us feel similarly at times- or all the time, or have done; you are not alone!

At 20:02:34 on 22.01.12, Jojo78 wrote:
Hi there, I totally agree with the above postings, and like Dazzle says, you need to start enjoying your horse - forget what other ppl think/say. I used to livery at a yard with a reeeeally good showjumper, her horse & her were jumping around a metre 40 odds - and she's half my age! Ive been riding for over 20 years, and can't muster the courage to jump more than a foot, so don't beat urself up about it. Just enjoy riding and try to keep positive :)