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At 06:21:41 on 28.01.10, JennyF wrote:
Ok this is quite a long story, so bear with me. For the past few months I've been having such horrible confidence issues when it comes to jumping. And the reason is this:
Around 4 or 5 months ago I was jumping my mare, Hasna, who is still only green over jumps. She is a messer when it comes to jumping, will stop suddenly, will zig-zag towards jumping, will spook or twist over the jump or mess like bunny hopping, she also enjoys taking off after a jump. She's not a fun jump. I've schooled many horses in jumping before so it was nothing new, I've fallen off so many times I can't even count them now, and I always get back up.
Well This one time, I was jumping her, grand she went for it, and actually jumped it, as she has a tendency to overjump and to jump too early, I grabbed the mane just so I didn't catch her mouth. But I missed and she twisted in mis jump and I lost my balance, I fell forward which spooked her and caused her to take off, I was hanging at her side at this point and let go, unfortunatly as I let go, she drove me into the arena fence, causing me to land head first on the groun with my back bent backwards.
I lost conscience for a few moments from the shock of the fall, The other riding with me though I have broken my back, and I was made lie in the recovery position for a good 20 minutes while they talked to 911. Turns out I didn't break my back but I just ripped all my back muscles and moved my pelvis out of place. I got back on her even through the pain though, just to walk around. First thing I saw when I opened my eyes whne I was on the ground, was her sniffing me!
So yea, scared of jumping, understandable you say? Here's the thing, I've jumped her after that and she's been great, other people at the yard has jumped her and she now loves it and that was all good.
But around 2 months ago I sat on her to do some jumping schooling work and suddenly, I froze. Could not even make myself point her towards a small cross pole. I tried to calm myself, but Hasna, being green herself, picked up on my nervousness and acted up, which didn't help.
Today I havn't jumped in months, Hasna get's jumped every week, and it saddens me so much that I just sit there and watch, but the fear is so bad that I've often been left in hysterics just at the thought.
My confidence when jumping is now non existant, I teach lessons, but feel like I shouldn't be teaching if I can't do something as simple as jump my own horse that I've had for 2 years.
It just makes me feel very angry with myself, but even if I say to myself 'I will jump today' and make myself get ready for it and Hasna will be perfect during warm up, once I actually go to jump it's gone, 70% of the time I will just burst out crying and start to shiver uncontrollably. Hasna picks up on it, which makes her nervous which makes it even worse for me.
I've tried it on even the safest, slowest, bomb proof school horse and I get the same result, I personally feel safer on Hasna because I know her.
Can anyone help? Or even relate? The people at the yard understand that jumping terrifies me now and don't push me. But it still makes me feel worthless, I wanted to show her this year, but If I can't even look at a 30cm cross pole without having a panic attack I could never achieve what I would like with her.
I have jumped 1 metre with Hasna before, including courses, I have also free jumped Hasna 1 metre 20. She jumps it with no problem, she loves it. the problem is all me, I feel like I'm bringing her down ....
Sorry this is so long, but this has really been bothering me. |
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At 14:52:00 on 28.01.10, my_destiny wrote:
i have had an almost exact experience as yours. Mine was 10 years ago, and i was training to be an instructor. i fell off while jumping but fractured 3 of my vertebrae at the base of my spine. I am still on heavy duty painkillers, and couldn't ride for 3 yrs. i am able to ride for pleasure only now-which i am grateful for. I have a mental block when it comes to jumping. I have popped over a few tree trunks when out for a ride, but the even the thought of facing a set-up jump is awful. I was jumping a 3ft 9" jump when i came off, but even small jumps induce a fear, which, as you pointed out, is passed on to the horse. i stiffen up, and the jump position goes out the window, and i literally hang on for grim life! Is embarrassing really. So, believe me, you are not alone. Take away the pressure by walking or trotting over low jumps for a few months, so that the horse doesn't really have to jump. Then progress to a canter. I did the walking/trotting thing for over a yr. I didn't care how long it took, i just wanted to feel comfortable again. If you can find small branches to pop over while out hacking, this takes away the pressure of a schooling arena jump, and makes it more for pleasure than feeling you have to, and your horse will ejoy it with you more as well. If you want to chat more, just send me a message. xx |
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At 18:26:59 on 28.01.10, JennyF wrote:
Hmmm I will try that, only problem with that is that my mare sees any height of jump as 1 metre, she will jump a pole on the ground, what I might do with her is trot poles and canter poles at fist so that she doesn't just jump them like a ninny, canter poles will get her mind more on her strides over actually jumping, and I'm hoping even approacing these poles, even in trot will help build up the confidence ... I may do that this weekend if she recovers, she's currently on box rest after an injury!
Maybe a while after doing this will get my own mind into the mindset that it might not be as bad as I think it is! |
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At 23:02:11 on 28.01.10, Angelalain wrote:
Is part of your problem that you are 'building yourself up' for it every time? You say you havent jumped for a while, but do you go out on her every time thinking 'I will do it today'? If you do I think you are putting far to much pressure on yourself. Its not the end of the world if you can't jump, and its nice that your friends do not pressurise you. There are people who dare not canter, who dare not leave the school, you are not alone in your fears, and you have a good reason for being fearful. What about starting jumping again on a different horse? Something which will treat a pole as a pole, not a 1m fence? If you can just get started again I'm sure your confidence will return, but I can undrstand why you a reluctant to jump your mare if she is so enthusiastic. Take it right back to basics, the first poles in jumping position etc. Its not silly if it gets you to your goal. |
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At 09:15:25 on 31.01.10, Skirt13596 wrote:
I really hope both you and Hasna can get back in to it. Having learnt to ride on a 12.2hh pony, the thought of most riding, not just jumping on my 16hh ex racehorse mare used to terrify me. All I do to help is visualise myself and her doing the jump correctly and well, so then when it comes time to do it I remember what I have to do to make it work the way I want it to. To help relax yourself, try planting pine trees near the arena, or going for long rides on freshly cut grass, there is something in pine trees and cut grass that can calm and relax you, and helps the part of your brain that deals with memory. I can't wait to hear more about your stepping stones on the way to jumping, remember to set yourself realstic goals and don't be happy until you get the result you want. :) |
