At 19:57:02 on 30.12.09, Pooki wrote:
I'm just wondering if anyone could help me if they are or have experienced the same thing, I've never been a confident rider but I think I really lost it when I fell off when I was 14 years old, I really hurt my back, it gave me a cist on my rib which is getting sorted now but anyway it confused me why the horse had flipped so badly I rode him every time I went for a lesson and really loved him. I had spurt of confidence earlier this year and it's gone again cos a few horses have bolted and bronked with me a couple of times I think it was cos I got anxious and tensed up other times it was just the horse being lazy and my instructor slapping behind the horse and obviously scaring it half to death... I'm loaning a horse at the moment he's really good giving me my confidence back slowly but it's coming.. I'm just worried if he does do anything I'm going to never get back on him cos I think I'm at breaking point and I can't quit :( just looking for some advice? to stop being a wuss and trying to avoid riding all the time! if anyone has any advice at all I'd appreciate it :) even if it is "shut up you have a lovely nice horse just ride him!" lol cos to be honest thats what I need to do I just keep freaking out :(

At 15:17:17 on 02.01.10, NMH wrote:
Have you read the posts in the other topics in this Group? I've only recently found them & they are really helpful. You seem to be stuck on the "what if?..." thoughts, I know what that's like & it's horrid, but the messages from other posts seem to be:- concentrate on the real enjoyment you are getting, on the horse & off it, & don't expect too much of yourself at a time; set things up so no-one's going to do daft things like walloping the horse, your fears are real & not silly but you don't have to give in to them totally: be kind to yourself and do all you can to build the relationship between you & the horse, it sounds as tho' you've got a kind one now & are getting there, only you are terrified of going backwards again!

At 20:50:26 on 02.01.10, sophieandcallum wrote:
"What if's" are the worst thing ever! I know how you feel honestly I do, I too lost confidence after a bad fall never really got it back fully and then lost it again being thrown off a few youngsters. I would have a little faith in your loan horse, and have a little courage but don't push yourself. I learned to trust my boy (who I bought 6 months broken in when I had 0 confidence, probably not one of my best decisions!) and everything else came from there. I did have a few scary moments with him (obviously being so green!) that had me in tears, but keep at it! 'Silly' fears to others are as NMH says very real to yourself. Who cares what everyone else thinks, learn to trust have a little faith in both yourself and horse. It's a rollercoaster but totally worth it in the long run. Now get riding:) and forget about what ifs think positive!

At 20:57:55 on 02.01.10, Pooki wrote:
Thank you for your comments you two :) it's just nice to talk to people that know how you feel and don't look at you like you have 50 heads when you say it! the other day well yesterday infact lol my sister was practicing her canter on the horse i'm loaning and she couldn't get him going and cos i've been riding alot longer and knew him I was like "let me on i'll get him going" and I got on straight away on the first squeeze he went straight into trot behaving himself being a bit silly cos he was in a bad mood but I was really proud of myself cos usualy i'd just try and avoid riding but the fact we seem to be getting on aswel just gave me a confident boost though I got off and he pissed off with my sister lol oops he wasn't in a very good mood that day! hopefully little things like that will keep my confidence going up, I just want to be back like I used to be, thanks for your comments though they've helped, just knowing people understand and the advice was good :) x

At 12:27:21 on 06.01.10, CarolineP wrote:
Hi Pooki. It's good to hear that you're regaining your confidence but I do understand your worry about being knocked off course if something goes wrong. I've developed the Enjoy Riding Confidence Club to keep people's confidence on track because I do see an awful lot of people whose confidence goes up and down like a yoyo! As I said in another post today, confidence is a funny thing. It really is all in the head, but none the less real for that. Almost everything about us stems from our beliefs about ourselves and the world. FEAR = False Expectations Appear Real! Think about it. NMH has summed up the advice I've given other people in this group, so do have a look at the main thread and see what you can pick up. It's all good stuff that has worked well for many other riders. Keep smiling and enjoying your nice horse, and let me know how you get on. Kind regards, Caroline
http://www.enjoyriding.com

At 16:16:38 on 06.01.10, Pooki wrote:
Hey, thank you for trying to help :) I'm not sure how to become a member on that website??

At 22:09:55 on 11.01.10, Angelalain wrote:
When your confidence has taken a knock, don't try to do too much at a time. Try the 'once round the field' After you've done that you'll probably want to go round again, and maybe again! When I lost confidence hacking alone I started with ten minute hacks, just out one gate and in the other type of thing. eventually you begin to realise its not always 'going to happen' Take it in little steps and remember Rome wasn't built in a day. So much of what I've read on this group has been so helpful and understanding, it makes you feel better to realise you are not alone.

At 22:14:42 on 11.01.10, Pooki wrote:
Yeah I get what you're saying, i keep having people push me though.. making me feel bad for it.. making me feel worse than I already do which made me go 10 steps backwards and I refused to ride twice this week it's really annoyed me but I couldn't help it, being laughed at didn't help the situation though! I'm goin to try and ignore it though and try and do what I want for a change not trying to push myself and ruining it all for other people... little at a time seems a good idea, thanks :) x

At 22:17:45 on 11.01.10, NMH wrote:
I think Angelalain's advice is really good - if you push yourself, or allow others to push you, in the end you'll react by saying "this feels bad" anyway. You've got it in one, do what YOU want as & when it feels right. Only you can possibly know what's right for you! You're the expert on you!

At 22:20:48 on 11.01.10, Pooki wrote:
Yeah, all the comments have helped really, I love this website, can't believe how many people have commented tryin to help me :o it's nice :) x