At 21:46:39 on 24.12.09, ladymuck wrote:
I would love some advice... I am 33 yrs old been riding since i was 6yrs old and was a fairly experienced confident rider until August of this year... I took a loan horse on last november and thought we were doing really well, he wasnt an easy ride very spooky but i took him back to basics and thought he was slowly getting better... one tuesday afternoon in august i was having a regular dressage lesson with my brillant instructor she asked me to go into canter which i did and then all of a sudden my horse spooked and threw me off, i landed on the school fence first smashing my left shoulder then my knee on the fence before landing on the floor i had to be operated on and have a new knee as i had shattered mine into tiny pieces i also broke my shoulder hence i am still off work and hopefully going back in the new year. Initally my thoughts were i would never get back in the saddle again but as i have a retired TB i cant give up on horses and tbh dont want too, half of me wants to ride again and i really fancy driving now which i will probably do but how can i get my nerves back to get in the saddle, i dont want to get to the level of what i was competing etc i just want a nice safe plod will it ever happen?

At 22:24:06 on 24.12.09, NMH wrote:
I think this is all about trusting a horse, & when that's been lost so badly it takes time & nurturing, & people you trust too in the first instance to set it up in a way you can go with

At 08:22:06 on 25.12.09, Shazzie B wrote:
Yes it will happen, but you need to find the right horse to start rebuilding your confidence. I am not the most confident rider at all, but I have the perfect horse for me, and while I have owned him he has helped 3 people regain their confidence. Have you got any friends with steady quiet horses? Or ponies even? Is there a local (reputable!!) riding school near you? My suggestion would be to find a steady honest horse you can trust, get to know him, then start with a slow plan of action eg day 1 mount and get straight off again, day 2 mount walk forward 10 yards get off again, etc.. Then you are not overfacing yourself and presenting yourself with a huge challenge (completing the Hickstead Derby) but you are breaking it into small mini-challenges (trot once round the arena). Once you have your confidence on a quieter horse then you can return to your own. Riding can be what you want it to be. You dont have to compete. And theres no equation saying 'HORSE=7 foot PUISSANCE WALL'. With horses you can do as much or as little as you want. Its a hobby to enjoy not endure. If you are from one of those very competitive yards, try and rebuild your confidence elsewhere, then you wont feel like all eyes are on you which happens a lot on many yards. I really hope you can find the strength to just make a start, because thats all it needs. One little collie-wobble of bravery that says 'just get up there and give it a go'. Good luck!

At 19:39:09 on 25.12.09, sophieandcallum wrote:
There is hope honestly! I lost my confidence completely 2 yrs ago, I had never really got it back after 2 nasty falls off a 4yr old cob who kicked me like crazy leaving me both physicially and mentally scarred for life to be honest! I was then thrown off a tb mare who I was beginning to trust then I stopped riding completely for 6 months. I missed it sooo much so went back and rode my favourite riding school clydesdale who never failed me! I didn't want to go back to riding in a riding school so set out to get myself a confidence giver...finding a connemara plod I agreed to buy but the girl decided last minute she couldn't part with her! Thank goodness for that! I then found my boy, he was so lovely but was green and young and probably not the best confidence giver but he was perfect! He was very very honest and thats what I needed and probably what you need too! He does chuck in a buck but never to get you off, he will have a spook but not a huge leap out of his skin and he will take off when he just wants to zoom but will always stop even if it's a few minutes delayed. I have now regained my confidence and am enjoying competing again. I would not have been able to do anything with the connemara after and would have been bored of her. So I think you need to search and think long and hard about what you are buying/loaning, I let my heart take over my head in buying my boy. I fell in love with him even if he wasn't my ideal pony at the time, he made me get my confidence back I had to be put out of my comfort zone but hes never thrown me off! You just have to be brave and find the right horse you can trust:) Good luck!

At 19:42:46 on 25.12.09, sophieandcallum wrote:
Forgot to mention too, agree with shazzie b. I did this when I went to view my boy, was terrified to even get on him but had my friend there to say shut up and get on. So I went for a walk around on him with about 3 strides of trot, that was it! 2nd day I had a proper trot and took him for a walk out of the school. 3rd day had a canter on him. 4th day he was at home with me! If a pony can do that they are worth their weight in gold! Don't push yourself, his owners were more than happy for me to come out as much as I wanted. Taking it slow but at the same time challenging yourself is the best way I think!

At 12:04:32 on 06.01.10, CarolineP wrote:
Hi ladymuck (what a great name!). I'm so sorry to hear about your accident. There's been some very good advice here. Yes, people do regain their confidence after bad falls and accidents. Many of the success stories on my website are inspirational with a capital "I"! You might particularly identify with Cilla's story and I hope her success gives you the encouragement you need to know that it's perfectly possible to recover your confidence after a serious riding injury. I think Shazzie B makes a good point about just doing what feels good to you. You need to make some mental connections between riding and enjoying it. If you just want to get on, make a fuss of the horse and get off again, do that. If you just want to ride round the yard or to the end of the drive, do that. Many nervous riders tell me that other people on their yards make them feel very inferior, thus undermining their confidence even further and if that's the case for you, you might want to think about how you handle that. It's important to take on board that this is your horse, your life, and you are perfectly entitled to do whatever feels good to you. You will benefit from banishing negative thoughts about your accident and there are some very effective techniques that you can learn. Something that will help is not to talk (or write) about it. The more you talk about something, the more immediate and powerful it remains. When you talk/write about horses and riding, only mention positive things that give you pleasure. That way, you begin to retrain your brain. What everyone says about finding the right horse is good, but we can't rely on external circumstances to maintain our confidence (or any other mood). Horses are horses. For example, my little mare bucked me off in no uncertain terms a few weeks before Christmas! Not something I had ever expected her to do. Things like that can happen and we need to have the internal tools to recover. Kelly Marks says there are circumstances when we can trust the horse and circumstances when we can't and I think that's sensible. That's why a well-trained horse is important and perhaps you might begin by doing ground work with your horse as even your old TB would probably benefit from further training. You might also like the book "The Fearless Horse" by Roger and Joanna Day, which is available on Amazon. Roger and Joanna also run courses. Their website is www.fearlesshorse.co.uk. I do hope you're feeling better physically and the good advice in this thread will help you to move forward. If this is important enough to you, you can do it. Let me know how you're getting on. Kind regards, Caroline.
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