At 13:55:01 on 02.04.10, chrissie wrote:
I get so annoyed with myself for losing my confidence, I never use to have this problem but 3 1/2 years ago my pony had a heart attack & died while I was riding her,I took on magic a welsh cob that had a lot of confidence issues & problems,I thought I would cope ok with this but over time Ive got worse, hes a lot better now & today I thought hes never bucked, reared or bolted so what am I scared of.? he can spooke & spin round & I have fallen off because of this but hes a lot better, so I rode out on my own & he was fine, thats something Ive only done a few times, do you think it would help if I did this more often or am I just going to end up frightening myself.?

At 14:00:54 on 02.04.10, chrissie wrote:
forgot to say I am 57 years old & have rheumatoid arthritis which dosnt help as I have it in my knees & hips as well so find it difficult to apply leg pressure to help me feel secure.

At 20:48:54 on 06.04.10, NMH wrote:
I'm a great fan of going out on my own on my horse, you don't get distracted, they look to you & it builds the relationship like nothing else. If you aren't above getting off to pass dragons (& can get back on lol!!!) & the spooking isn't worse alone then I'd go for it. I speak as an oldie like you

At 08:05:59 on 07.04.10, Flicka wrote:
Yes I love riding on my own so I would go for it. Then like NMH says he's just listening to you and not the other horses and maybe he likes it because you are 'with' him rather than chatting to your friends. When I come to a really lovely spot I make my mare stand so that we can relax together and appreciate our surrounding, and I'm not averse to letting her nibble a bit of grass-however it took me a long time to be able to hack her out alone. I wouldn't worry about using grip to stay on anyway, it's better to be relaxed and balanced. I would say if you're on your own take a phone, and let someone know what route you're likely to be taking. In Tack Room Tea Room we've been discussing aids that can help with a horse that shies and spins which might help.
http://www.trotontv.com/community/showforum/1856/rs-tor-for-confidence-and-balance.html

At 17:52:06 on 07.04.10, chrissie wrote:
thanks a lot for your imput, I keep telling myself what a good boy he is as hes never reared, bucked or bolted with me so what is there to be scared of.!!

At 21:52:32 on 07.04.10, plodalong wrote:
Chrissie, i am also an oldie and i hack out most of the time alone, the grumpy old man sometimes comes out with us on his bike,its nice to have company but im in full agreement with Flicka, i enjoy just the two of us, nobody sees the wordless conversations we have,Bo and me against the world, well not quite, i think we enjoy each others company and when there is just the two of us we concentrate and focus on each other much more than when we have company.If you are worried about being afraid of going out alone and you feel happier in company then choose a sensible riding companion who understands your fear and is happy to go at your pace,when you get bored with company then try again by yourselves,. Take the pressure off yourself, it doesnt matter if you never go out on your own.As long as you are happy doing what you are comfortable with and your lovely horse is happy doing it too.i sometimes ride out with someone then we part company and go seperate ways, this boosts my confidence and its good for Bo to be separated from his riding mate at my request and go another way,He used to get a little worried but now he realises that we will eventually go home and that i am not going to let the horse eating sheep get him.i also do what Flicka has suggested,take a phone with a fully charged battery and credit, Tell someone where you are going and give a time for when you think you will be back,wear hi-viz even if you are not on the road.if you can lessen the risk of an accident then you will lessen the worry,if you are feeling at any point unsafe then get off and walk for a while,sing your safe song and once you feel better remount.(i have to use a wall)I think the more you do something the better you get and then your confidence will soar.Dont put yourself down or beat yourself up,riding is supposes to be fun and make you get the feel good factor.if that means you stay close to home ,or always ride in company so be it, enjoy your horse whatever way you are able to,Good luck in whatever you decide to do and keep us posted on your progress.

At 23:11:12 on 07.04.10, NMH wrote:
Thankyou for lots of wise thoughts as we've come to expect from you Plodalong!

At 12:01:34 on 08.04.10, chrissie wrote:

yet again its so nice to have feed back, I do ride out with a friend & have no trouble with leaving her & her horse, in fact magic leads the way most of the time, something he never use to do so hes improved beyond belief, its just me thinking that I should ride him out on his own but like you said plodalong I dont have to so why am I beating myself up over it.! over easter I rode up our lane on my own for half hour, the next day rode out with friend for 2 hours then the next day for 1 hour with hubby on his bike.! magic was good each time so I think he enjoyed the variations.!

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At 20:49:08 on 09.04.10, CarolineP wrote:
Hi Chrissie, What a nice little horse. I'm personally a great believer in doing things that you actually ENJOY with your horse (radical, I know)! If you think you'd like to ride on your own from time to time, you could just take a short ride: you don't have to ride for hours and miles. The more mental connections you make between riding and enjoying yourself, the better. Do lots of what feels good to both of you and focus on the positive things. Learn anything useful you can from problems and then be absolutely ruthless about leaving them in the past where they belong. After getting any initial feedback you ask for from other people, don't talk about things that went wrong, don't think about them, don't post about them. There are lots of tips in other threads, so do have a read through. Let us know how you're getting on. Kind regards, Caroline
http://www.enjoyriding.com

At 20:23:34 on 10.04.10, chrissie wrote:
thanks caroline, I do dwell on the past.! but now I am going to be more positive, today I rode out with hubby on his bike & decided that magic dosnt need a running martingale or flash noseband, I think I was just using them as extra safety nets.! he was fine without them as I knew he would be.!