At 02:31:21 on 28.02.10, miniluver wrote:
Ever since i was a little girl i dreamed of having my very own pony, so i was extremely excited when the day finally came to go buy my first horse! The 5 horse i tried out seemed like a dream come true, she had perfect comformation, she could jump, and she was my all time favorite colour -- Palomino. I was so excited to make her my own that i convinced my mom that we didn't need to trial her, this was a HUGE mistake. The first day at her new home and she had already tried to beat up the pony in the neighbouring paddock! We soon learned that it wasn't just other horses she had a problem with; she hated being ridden in a big ring. When i mounted her; she bucked! When i asked her to canter; she bucked! When we went within 10 feet of another horse or a mirror she went into angry stallion mode. When i went into her paddock she charged at me, and she broke the cross-ties when i was brushing her. To top it all of, every time i took her out of the stable she'd do anything to be free, including knocking me to the ground! Eventually we gave her away to a lady who was looking for a challenge. I unwillingly took a break from riding for a year where i started doing more 4-H things and i focused on teaching my miniature horse to drive. I didn't realize it until a few weeks ago during my first lesson back, that Baylee had destroyed the confidence i had been building for 6 years in a matter of weeks. I really want to jump again, but i can't seem to build up the courage to go over even the smallest cross-rail, any suggestions?

At 15:08:21 on 13.03.10, CarolineP wrote:
Hi miniluver, so sorry to hear about your loss of confidence. Your palomino was obviously suffering from past treatment and no longer willing to cooperate with the humans in her life. Mares are different from geldings, I find. They are entire, after all! I have a mare now - only the third in 50 years of horses - and she is an absolute star. They say if you get a good mare, they're very, very good. She is different to ride from a gelding, though, and sometimes reacts in ways that I find challenging. So it will help you to realise that the mare you had was severely stressed in some way and just trying to get through things the best way she could. It wasn't personal. Bach Flower Remedies could help you. I don't know if you're in the US and if you can get them over there. Star of Bethlehem is the remedy that deals with the bad effects of shock, and there are several remedies that help with fear of various kinds. The horse would probably have benefitted from them, too. As of now, don't think about your previous experiences, and don't talk or post about them. The more you think about them, the more power you allow them over you. Put them into context by understanding a bit more about where the horse was coming from, learn anything that you need to learn from the situation and then be ruthless about leaving the whole experience in the past, where it belongs. Write yourself a list of the good things you'll get from taking up riding again. This will re-motivate you and remind you of why you want to do it. Take the re-introduction to riding slowly. Build your competence and confidence. Have a look through the many other posts in this group to see my advice to other riders and I think you'll find lots of other ideas to help you. I hope you're back to riding again soon. Kind regards, Caroline
http://www.enjoyriding.com

At 14:44:35 on 14.04.10, horsiecrazy wrote:
Try a safer pony for now and just start taking it over poles while practising the jumping position. When you feel confident enough to try a small cross fence in trot and go over a few times, then gradaually your confidence will build up again and in no time you'll be jumping at shows! I also had an experience like you, just remember she is just one horse, not all horses will be like her.

At 12:58:38 on 28.04.10, bazz94 wrote:
I'm thinking try and build up trust with her as well as barriers of personal space. I'm not sure whether you're interested in natural horsemanship or not but I've found using Monty Roberts' methods really helps. I'm not sure how much you know much about his methods but when you get trust on the ground things will most likely lighten up when riding. The video I've attached is one of the best ones that's on youtube. Good luck.

At 20:01:01 on 07.05.10, JessAndGrenville123 wrote:
your horse sounds like it needs a much more experienced rider, you will get no confidence from her and i usually say t-touch and join up but naughty horses need riders that don't care if they fall and just get right back on without being phased, try to either send her off to a trainer for a few weeks to see if they can iron out the problems then have lots of lessons iff not sell her for a safer horse, i know it is easier said than doone but she is wasted with you (i dont want to sound mean) and you are starting to see riding as a punnishment rather than a fun activity and sounnd like you need a confidence giver.

At 23:39:31 on 07.05.10, CaffCaff wrote:
Hey Miniluver, i think you need to consider that not all horses are the same. However i can relate with scary horses. Years after i went to a riding school, my parents decided we should get a pony. When we bought this pony, i was 8 and pretty confident. However, when i first rode it without anyone holding him, he decided he'd gallop home, luckily there was no roads. As i grew up, i became aware that he was going to run off with me and i knew i wouldn't be able to fight him. He would go from nought to gallop in the flick of a switch and i became a nervous rider. As time progressed, i sort of learnt to deal with it; if he wanted to go i would make sure i was going to be comfortable. But i knew he wouldn't change, so we eventually sold him. We had a second horse in the duration and he is a typical cob. He is sort of the handmedown. Although it took me about 2 years to regain my trust, he has really really helped me. I think although some horses can take your onfidence away, others can bring it back. I think as long as you be sceptical that another horse, that is safe, sound and it may be a schoolmaster, a young lazy bones like mine, i think you just need to let the past fade away, and move forward. It will take a long time to rebuild trust, but these things do. Find yourself something that is a draft mix breed so it has that dosial, calm nature and just take baby steps. Confidence DOES take time to rebuild, and i wish you the best of luck. We're never letting our cob go, because he has done so much for my family. I hope you find your stead.