At 22:25:49 on 14.02.10, Little Miss Kizzy wrote:
Can anyone help me :( I ride a 16.2hh TBxCob who is a confidence giver but does tend to spook but one day when I was out riding in the big x-country field on my own we had a canter along the top of the field which I didn't normally do we always cantered along the bottom where he would very nicely just plod along in canter but along the top we passed the coloured jumps which he has always jumped & he bolted with me :( one of my bigest fears is being bolted with :( this set me back & didn't go back in the field for a while but when I did I could feel myself get tense by the jump where he bolted & he was on his toes so I turned around & headed back home but said to myself don't be silly so I made myself go back & walk passed the jump which we did but I couldn't wait to get all the way around the field & get back home. I haven't been back in that field since :( this was about 4/5 months ago. Can anyone help me with some confidence tips as there is only so much you can do in the school :(

At 15:47:40 on 15.02.10, Em28 wrote:
Hiya Litle Miss Kizzy, is there anyone who you can go riding with? Or even anyone you see out whilst hacking who are also hacking alone that you could ask if you could ride together? If you went with someone you would probably not think about your worries of the field so much. Also, sounds like you have been doing very well by facing your fears and making yourself go back and walk past the jump. If you make it a regular route to walk past the jumps each week you will build up your confidence and it will not be such a worry. This will also reinforce to your horse that going past jumps does not mean he will jump them. That is if you need to go past the jumps. It also sounds like you were confident in cantering along the bottom, maybe you could try just riding at the bottom of the field to start with. Just stay positive and take it slowly so you can build up your confidence and trust in your horse whilst out hacking. Goodluck with it!

At 20:37:03 on 15.02.10, Little Miss Kizzy wrote:
Hi Em28 thank you so much for your comments :) I have found another person to ride with in the field with but I'm going to wait untill the evenings are a bit lighter as I only ride Tom in the week & might wait untill the spring/summer as Tom does get a little fresh this time of the year :)I know I'm being a bit of a chicken but I want to make sure the time is right but I will definetely take on board all your ideas :) good idea doing just a bit of the field I never thought of that I was just adamant that I was never going to go back in there

At 12:29:55 on 17.02.10, Shaza wrote:
Little Miss Kizzy, Where do I start!!! I can relate to you so well and really can understand your mind set. I have been through 2 years of space fear!! I can compete in dressage, hoon round a course of show jumps at a great rate of knots but put me in an open field and I would crumble!!! With me it was an anxiety of ¡§what if¡¨ ¡V what if she spooks? What if she bolts? What if she bucks? Etc. It was not a very nice place to be ƒ¼. The comments above are so true. I had a bit of a breakdown over it and as a result a very kind friend of mine took me on board and became my babysitter ƒº It has taken time but I can now ride out confidently without tensing up, much to my horses relief ƒº My advice to you is take baby steps. Be brutally honest with the person you are riding out with and tell them exactly how you feel. If you start feeling anxious tell you friend to talk to you and I mean talk to you.....a lot!!! Occupy your mind, take your thoughts off your surroundings and onto the conversation, that way your mind will not be transmitting anxiety to your horse. When you go past those scarey jumps, put your leg on ¡V let your horse know it is fine and nothing to be scared off! I went right back to basics, walking, then trotting, a little bit of schooling in the corner of the field etc and gradually increase it as your confidence grows. Try to trust your horse! That was the biggest battle I had and my horse is a star to be honest! I just couldn¡¦t let her shine. Also depending on whether you believe in hypnoses, there is a cd called confident rider! I found this very helpful as a mind over matter thing (if that makes any sense). If I can be of any help at all please ask and I will do my best to answer. I do understand your situation. Been there, seen it, done it and brought the t-shirt!!!!

At 20:13:32 on 17.02.10, Little Miss Kizzy wrote:
Thanks for your reply Shaza :) I think baby steps is the way to go :) I'm hoping to start going back in the field when it gets a bit lighter as I only ride in the week after work. I have made a friend at the yard who said she would look after me :) I hate not having the confidence as I used to enjoy hacking so much but it got to the point where I was so scared hacking out that I just wanted to give it all up it just wasn't enjoyable any more :( But in the last year or so I had got more confident then Tom decided to bolt :( it knocked me back so much I almost got real depressed about it :( I didn't have a very good time in the school last Monday either :( I had asked a friend to leave the poles down in the school for me to have a play with, it was a real cold dark evening we had the school lights on & was in there on our own & so he decided to spook at all the poles & I got so nervous that something was going to happen I nearly got off :( I felt real low after that for days :( What's really weird is that I went riding the other day to a new western place just me & the owner & I had red about the breed that they use called "Criollo" & they said perfect for nervous people so I booked up :) before I new it I was cantering western style in open land with hardly any contact I was sooooo pleased that I had done this I was over the moon but how come I can't do this on Tom :( The cd that you mentioned I have that but have not yet listend to it yet good excuse to have some time to myself :)

At 20:57:52 on 17.02.10, Shaza wrote:
I know where you are coming from. I could ride other peoples horses no problem!! Just not my own!! Odd I know, I think we are just a strange breed :) It just takes time and you just need to trust your horse, easier said than done I know! He will get confidence from you, then become less spooky. My baby sitter also told me to get a balancing strap, I looked them up on the internet and was horrified! thinking it was something that kids would use!! However, I brought one and I have to say it should be gold plated, I very rarely use it but will never take it off, by heck it saved my neck many times through Tilly having tantrums!! :) I can also relate to the giving up, just leaving the yard for a ride round the block 12 months ago would make me feel sick! Tilly was destined for the horse and hound and I was destined to a life without horses! So glad I came out the other side. Tilly is such a good mare (apart from the I dont wanna do it tantrums!), she is such a confidence giver, I have just had to force my brain to realies this. The brain still holding on though, I can only ride out with people who wont overtake me - if Tilly is left behind the bucking and the tantrums rear their ugly heads. That is just her insecurity! I have to allow her that :) Honestly, give the CD a go :) The words "Calm & Confident" in time with the hoof beats work wonders in occupying your mind when it strays :) Have a bit of you time - it does get better :)

At 14:27:10 on 18.02.10, CarolineP wrote:
Hi Little Miss Kizzy, sorry to hear you've been having problems. This really is down to how you perceive the situation - as you know, because you rode a strange horse out in the open with no problems because you believed that the horse was of a breed "perfect for nervous people". Interesting, isn't it? Do some mental rehearsal. Really think yourself back to the person who confidently rode the Criollo. What were you thinking? What were you saying to yourself? What did it feel like to be that person, to look through that person's eyes? When you know that and have practised it mentally, you can apply it to riding the other horse. Start off with mentally rehearsing being the Criollo rider, then bring in riding on your own horse in a "safe" situation, then progress to imagining riding round the jumps. Make sure you give the horse something to think about (when mentally rehearsing or doing it for real): keep yourself calm and grounded (lots of advice on how to do this in the various threads in this group) and flex the horse so that he doesn't get set in his head and neck. Leg-yielding is good for this. You might also model, or copy, the person you were when you rode confidently at the other end of the field, or just copy a rider you admire. You don't need to know exactly how they do it - just make it up! Take it in stages and acknowledge and celebrate your progress. Let us know how you get on. Kind regards, Caroline
http://www.enjoyriding.com

At 20:21:29 on 11.04.10, Kirsteerobin wrote:
I had the same thing happen to me, I tried to pull him but my horse is too strong so this is what I did ... I kept talking to him in a steady and calm voice and pulled at the same time, and he started slowing down. At first it might not work but you have to keep trying if it does happen to you again. But try not to hank him in the mouth.

At 15:48:12 on 22.06.10, nicky_jess wrote:
I agree with what has already been said, walking past them on a regular basis may sound scary but pushing yourself to do it will make you feel better and better every time. Ive been there, i lost my bottle riding in general which wasnt good as i had a youngster at the time she was 3 and a half, i pushed myself through all the nerves and now ill do almost anything with her. I found with her if she is feeling a little out of control in gallop ill talk to her like Kirsteerobin said and ill squeeze the reins and she will listen after a second or two and slow down. Shes now 5 and has fantastic breaks when out galloping and cantering and even if another persons horse takes off she will go at the speed i ask of her. Persistance always pays off even if you feel you are getting nowhere you will see a change eventually