At 14:13:46 on 04.02.10, papillon wrote:
I just thought I would share my story with others, in the hope it will benefit someone with lost confidence. It might just give you hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel! Apologies if it's long and I don't know if this is the right place for it.. My confidence with jumping has always been up and down. I absolutely love doing it but it also terrifies me! It was always better when I did it regularly, and with my own horse that I trust. I sold my horse about 4 years ago, but still ride my mum's horse every couple of months. One time they were trying to sell a horse who was good but inexperienced at jumping. They needed to get some photos for the adverts. I agreed to ride him for the photos (though was mixed about it), and so we were in our arena. The jumps were just going higher and higher, but he was managing alright and I was managing to stay on! One jump though was up and he got the striding wrong. Pole got tangled in his legs, and I fell off. It completely destroyed my confidence. I just fell apart, burst into tears (I wasn't physically hurt).. I just felt there was no hope for me being able to enjoy jumping again. Jumping was something that I used to get enormous pleasure from, I even did a 3'6" XC course once. Some of the best moments of my horse life have been jumping and this looked like it could never be again. After that the thought of jumping anything literally panicked me. Eventually my mum persuaded me to get onto her old cob, Harley, and start popping over a few tiny things. Even that was a lot for me. But Harley was such a darling and really knew how to look after his rider. He's also a horse that, once he's set up in the right canter will take the jumps beautifully. He knows his job, but you have to be a positive rider to get him going right. This was exactly what I needed, to feel like I could ride again. Just being on any horse that would take you over the fences wouldn't have helped. Eventually after a good while the old feeling of being able to do it started to come back. Mum then took me to a riding club jumping lesson. I just remember this as such a big turning point for me. One moment in particular, the jumps were up to just outside my comfort zone - only about 2'6" but fillers and spreads etc. We had to do a (reasonably simple) round. But it just flowed beautifully as a partnership. I set him up right, he jumped all of them perfectly. It was such a high. That was the first time I came away from a session feeling that I was on a high rather than having survived it. After that I began to really make positive steps forward. Suddenly I could do this again. Mum said she got the old me back. We went schooling and all sorts of things. Although it still scared me, it wasn't such a big issue, I knew how to ride again rather than just 'freeze' four strides from the fence. I went from strength to strength. Mum put me on her horse, Rio. He is a different kettle of fish to jump he just loves it and is talented. But our arena is too small for him to get into his stride in so you can't practice at home with him. Also, as he's talented and good (though get a bit too enthusiastic & bowls on and knocks things sometimes)he needs bigger fences to make him respect them enough. But another turning point came when I went on a fun ride one day with my dad. I was on Rio (he's the one in my profile pic). The ride is nice in terms of jumps, they're mostly 2'6" friendly inviting fences, starting with 6" logs. I was a bit of a quivering wreck before. Not having jumped Rio at all before, I remember being chuffed when I got over the 6" logs! We did more and more and the more I did, the more I loved it. With him, he adores jumping as I said, he takes you into them and you barely even notice the jumps. I realised that I could trust him 100%, and with that the jumps went from looking like 5ft high, to looking 2ft high. Since then I have almost no qualms about going out jumping. If anything I think my confidence is better than it used to be. As I said, I before I used to have to do it regularly. Now, I can get on without having done it for months, and I find that once the first fence is done it all comes back. That's not to say I don't get nervous now, but I know I can ride it, I know I can sit a bad stride, I know I can trust the horse. So I just hope that my story gives someone the hope that their confidence again. I remember at rock bottom the worst feeling was that hopelessness. With hope you can do it.

At 14:47:53 on 04.02.10, sophieandcallum wrote:
Great story, very very similar to mine although I got my confidence back on teaching my boy to jump haha! There definately is hope, even when you think you'll never get on a horse again!

At 21:11:07 on 04.02.10, NMH wrote:
That's a great story, well told, Papillon, & I hope it does give lots of people hope whatever their particular bugbear. Remember always- you do it for fun & may or may not want to get to the same level as you did before, there are no rules, nor, shouldn't be, failures, just having pleasure & fulfilment from your horse

At 12:38:47 on 05.02.10, CarolineP wrote:
Hi Papillon, I'm really glad you're back to jumping again. You graphically illustrate how it is the "feeling that you can do it" that makes the difference! A feeling of competence is a very important part of confidence. Sometimes people get that by having riding lessons or by riding a different horse. There are other, purely mental, ways that you can influence your feelings of competence too. Keep it up! Caroline
http://www.enjoyriding.com

At 23:17:06 on 23.02.10, showjumping1 wrote:
this sound like me 2 just geting it bk after finding a grate trainer

At 22:45:41 on 24.02.10, papillon wrote:
Thanks all, it's just I think that sometimes we can think we're alone with these things when we're not. Which is why I guess this forum is great.

At 00:16:18 on 01.03.10, fi919 wrote:
Dont know if this is the right place but i lost a little confidence about 5 yrs ago.I had a non horse related accident and broke my neck,was riding my horse galloping,cantering jumping,dressage,virtually anything on my thoroughbred.(I didnt know i had a broken neck just thought it was whiplash).Being in a lot of pain went to see consultant who dropped a bombshell,major surgery and no riding at all.After leaving hospital was told if i valued my health that i could never ride again or end up in a wheel chair,needless to say i ignored my doctor and rode 2 weeks later on my husbands schoolmaster at walk.After that i found it harder to ride my horse especially on my own,i have had a bad fall which put me back in hospital and i made excuses for not getting another horse after losing my thoroughbred tragically.it took about 1and half years before i started looking for a new horse.Ive had my boys 2 half years and im slowly gaining my confidence back that today i rode my husbands horse who was very unpredictable but with the help of a very dear friend whos a great instructor has helped me remember how to enjoy everything good and bad with my beautiful horses.We are training ready to maybe compete in dressage in the summer.Im so loving what im doing again,sorry its been so long but just to say there is always hope to gain your confidence back.

At 15:19:21 on 13.03.10, CarolineP wrote:
Hi fi919, it's great to hear that you've gradually made your way back to enjoying riding. You're right: there is always hope. Some of the people I see have had severe injuries from riding accidents but if they are willing to change how they do things (including their way of thinking!), they can regain their confidence. Never give up! Kind regards, Caroline

At 22:31:29 on 17.07.10, snoozyhen wrote:
hello, i read your story, brilliant! i just wanted to share my story! about 18 months ago i had a riding lesson, and romour had it that there was a group of young horses that were held locally, and if they were not sold they would be going for slaughter so i had to go and have a look! i managed to drag my mum down there (i was 14 at the time) to have a look as they were only £40 each, and looked soo poor we couldnt help but save one! my dad own a dairy farm, but being typical dairy farmer he dosent really like horses! so we kept him on my grans feild about half a mile from my house up a dirt track. thus pony who we later named merlin when through the normal taming process and halter breaking process with us, as he was only 8 months old and wild when we got him, we develpoed a really strong bond with him through the winter and everything was just beginning to stettle down. as most young horses he had a bit of spring fever as the new year progressed whilst we were leading him between home where his stable was nad his feild. it was about may when all the lush green grass was growin that was extemalyy tempting for him, but as he was good we didnt worry, earlier in the week my mum was in a car crash and srtained her back and hurt her ribs ect so i was leading him myself each day, it was an early saturday morning when i was tkaing him up to his feild that he decided he was gonong to take the distraction of an oncomeing car to make a break for the green grass. he ended up rearing, cathing me completley surprised landed on my shoulder and forced me face first into the tarmac, i managed to get him to his feild before passing out, i was then taken to hospital with concussion, a broken nose and a split lip. after this terrifying experience he really started to get dangerous, diving in hedges, dragging my mum, rearing ect, so after many months of hard work and a constricting headcollar and a grazing muzzle which he wore to be led we had him gelded, however i was still extremally frightened of leading him, he is very agile, and being at his shoulder really upset me and he knew it so he would try it on with me, many times with me trowing the lead rope at my mum and running away. he was only 13hh but very strong and well built. i have had two operation on my nose because of this, and i am still not completley back to normal with my breathing. however i have never blamed him for it, and i am glad i didnt. i am 16 now, i have taken him to his first inhand show, and we won, and i have taken him to a few more, we have a brilliant bond and i am really looking froward to riding him, it took me a long time to overcome my fear, but it only brought us closer and in that way im grateful for it, we have already decided we will never sell him, we love him too much and i am more confidednt with him and horses in general! so the point of my long stroy is that even if you do have a knock with your horse, if you stick at it you will be stronger at the end, and for me its all been good experience for me, and i love him for everything, despite his faults!! regards emma xx