At 21:22:25 on 12.01.10, plodalong wrote:
Hi Pooki, Dont beat yourself up because you didnt want to ride, there is nothing wrong with playing approach and retreat with yourself.Stop and retreat every time you get nervous,if it is after you've groomed your horse,or gone to get the saddle .when you are fastening the girth or when you are ready to mount, Give yourself permission to stop what you are doing at any point and retreat,You may find that by doing this you will be able to go a bit further before the fear gets too bad.I am not a good rider but my confidence has grown using these methods and there is no way i would mount my horse if i thought he was in a bad mood, i would do something else with him such as longlining or even just spending time with him and doing nothing.Good luck and I know its hard but try not to let others push you into doing something you dont want to do it isn't good for you or your horse.

At 13:35:43 on 14.01.10, CarolineP wrote:
Hi Pooki, How are you doing now? There's been lots of good advice given here. Remember that this is your horse and your life and you're absolutely entitled to do whatever feels right to you and your horse. The horsey world can be a very macho place and many, many riders tell me that their "friends" (not real friends, IMO!)and other riders on their yards undermine their confidence even further. People with their own secret insecurities sometimes make themselves feel better by belittling others. So stay strong in your belief that what you want and how you want to do things is just as valid as anyone else's ideas. If you'd like to join the Confidence Club, you can sign up from the beginning of next month. You're very welcome to the free Enjoy Riding newsletter which has lots of tips and inspirations every month and you'll see where to get that on my site. Remember to eat the elephant - tackle this in small bites! Caroline
http://www.enjoyriding.com

At 21:41:53 on 14.01.10, Laneyloo wrote:
Hi everyone,i have this problem,it is not that i,ve fallen or i distrust my horse.i have had my problems with my horse but so far i have gotten through it and the bond has strengthened.my problem is i haven,t been riding much lately because i,m being put off by others who i ride with and my mum who will some times ride out with me,i went for a good canter with a friend on the yard he rides out and hunts regularly and owned my horse before me,while we was out cantering my knee gave and i almost slipped off and had to slow down to get myself right and not to frighten my horse by falling,he went on to tell me i shouldn,t have my horse because i couldn,t ride him properly!i was gutted of course,he knows that i have only been pleasure riding/hacking for 18months before that for too many years i only backed and schooled young stock for my mum,the cob i have i rode before i got the tb but i got the tb because he a bit younger and i was thinking about maybe competing,but now i don,t want to do any thing not even ride either of my horses.I,d rather just do the chores and put them out and bring them in etc.I just can,t bring myself to ride,i would rather keep my feet firmly on the ground.I really do miss riding but i just cant stand the bad press so to speak!!

At 18:42:35 on 15.01.10, chrissie wrote:
Its so nice to hear that we are not alone in this problem, I never used to be scared of doing anything but when my pony died 3 years ago & I brought magic everything went wrong, he had so many issues that even though hes improved beyond belief I have gone backwards,I dont want to canter or jump anymore so I dont.! I never ride on my own & either my husband comes along on his bike or my friend on her quiet horse,I also look for excuses not to ride but once I am mounted I feel ok,my old friends cant understand why I am like this but I will not be pushed into doing anything that scares me, we have our horses for our enjoyment so do what you enjoy & dont worry if you dont ride them just spend time grooming them etc.

At 11:13:09 on 24.01.10, bazz94 wrote:
Generally what I do is I determine myself and say 'I'm not going to fall', or 'I'm not going to be afraid', or 'I am going to do this' over and over again when in doubt... I've heard that if you say 'I' to a present text and you say it enough to yourself your brain takes it that you're serious about it and it helps you along. Since your brain has heard you say I can't do it etc. so much that it's learnt to believe you can't and you just gotta do the same but in a positive way. I really hope that makes sense. Good luck and keep at it no matter what others say... really hard I know but like on the movie Madagascar "Smile and wave"

At 12:20:14 on 02.02.10, CarolineP wrote:
Great tip about telling yourself what you need to hear, Bazz! This can be very powerful. Always make what you say to yourself a positive statement, eg "I'm not going to fall" becomes "I'm staying on".
http://www.enjoyriding.com

At 14:19:15 on 02.02.10, Pooki wrote:
Yeah it is a great tip, I did it yesterday and it seemed to work how long for who knows but I'm happy for now at least the only thing that seems to work is to talk to myself I'm loaning another one now.. the owner of the other one said she wanted someone with more confidence which made me feel great lol but this new one it's odd (the situation not the horse) he's a 7 year old rescue horse very green and for a few days I said I just wanted to get to know him and him to get to knw me before I get on then I tried just trotting him round and then yesterday I was cantering him round no problem I feel really confident on him and the last horse I loaned was a 10 year old cob that was as safe as houses strong as houses too but would never do anything and I was scared to ride him.. it's just weird that no matter how bad my confidence is my need to help and look after the rescue horses is still there, if that makes sense? I'll let you know how it goes in the next few days but I'm feeling very confident about riding him! thanks for all your advice everyone :)